Welcome to

GRAY

MATTER

SANDWICH

 

The unexamined life is not worth living.

 

Features:

Ask Mike

An advice column for the new millenium.

Due to volume of mail received, we’ve been forced to make up our own letters.

 

                        Submit a Question to Ask Mike k4_pacific@yahoo.com (Please include words “Ask Mike” in subject.)

 

            Ask Seth (Coming Soon)

                    If you don’t like Mike’s answer.

 

                                Submit a Question to Ask Seth iZimbra@aol.com   (Please include words “Ask Seth” in subject.)

 

 

            Movie Reviews

                   Reign of Fire, by Mike

W. invades Iraq.

 

                        Black Dog, by Mike

Patrick, Randy and Meat.  Do they need last names?

 

            Essays

                   How to be a Bigot in This Modern Age, by Mike

                        Tired of being branded a Nazi?

 

                        The good Dr. Caldwell, by Mike

                        Ah, college, the best five to ten years of my life.

 

                                From the Collection of Calls Recorded for Quality Control Purposes, by Mike

                        A telemarketer call is like a crank call, only the victim calls you.

 

          S & M (Science and Mathematics of course, get your mind out of the gutter)

                        A fast factoring algorithm, by Mike(coming soon!)

                        Would be far better than all others known if only it worked.  Maybe you can help.

 

                                Will the moon ever fall out of the sky?  by Mike

                        Most scientists would say no.  I say maybe.

 

                                Can you explain this picture?  by Mike

                        Look real hard.

 

Poetry

          Alternative Pie, by Mike

                Can be sung to Don McLean’s American Pie (sort of)

 

          Six Disjoint Verses, by Mike

                A very simple rhyme scheme.

 

          The Ballad of Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak, by Mike

                A poetic farce of a pop culture staple.

 

          Assorted Poems, by Mike

                I’m so deep I’m going to get the bends.

 

          The Mall Primer, by Mike

                See MAD.  See Mike.  See Mike rip off MAD.  Rip Mike rip.

 

          11 Poems written in 30 minutes, by Mike

                                See how many short rhymes you can think of in 30 minutes.  You’d be surprised!

 

Art

Shadow Train,  by Seth

Seth’s anal-retentive attention to detail yields positive results!

 

Free desktop wallpaper

Open the picture, right click on it, select “Set as wallpaper.”    

Several designs to choose from.  Each measures 1024 x 768 pixels

 

Countdown, by Mike

Remember those instructional films from school?

 

Brain, by Mike

Don’t sk.

 

Windows is going crazy!  by Mike

A bunch of extra pointers and a fake error message.  Put it on your friend’s computer!

 

Bizzarre Ruminations

            Sitcom Rules, by Seth

                Creating your own hit TV show for fun and profit.

 

            George W. Bush vs. Osama Bin Ladin, by Mike

                Next week: Chruchill and Hitler, separated at birth?

 

            Assorted Ruminations, Vol 1, by Mike

                Each of these snippets could grow into a thesis.

 

Other Stuff

                        An analysis of Louie, Louie, by Mike

The FBI spent six months investigating this song.  Their conclusion: Unintelligible at any speed.  So what are the lyrics?  We investigate.

 

                        Book Club, by Mike

                                Mischief, Mayhem, Kool-Aid

 

                        Odyssey Motor Company, by Seth

                                Just great cars.

 

Contact info:

        Mike:

                   K4_pacific@yahoo.com

          Seth:

                   iZimbra@aol.com